Friday, September 17, 2010

Getting older AKA It's all his fault!

Eye sight. Or the loss of said eye sight. I blame puppy. I had my eyes checked when I was pregnant & my eye sight was perfect, in fact one eye was better than perfect. Life was good.

Then I had puppy. And in the past 18 months my eye sight has gone down to the shitter. Yea, I didn't even block it out. My eyesight is in the shitter. Even my baby daddy has noticed. He kindly asked the other day, "Honey, it seems like when you first started wearing glasses you hardly wore them at all, now you seem like you wear them all the time." he was right, I wear them all the time, now. I have them on right now as a matter of fact.

The eye doctor says it has more to do with my age (boo hiss, how dare her!) than with pregnancy, she says that there's nothing to support that pregnancy changes eyesight.

But you know, if you ask enough women you will eventually get enough to support your belief that yes, pregnancy (or birth) messes with eyesight. My mother used to say her eyes got worse after having us brats, and I've even spoke with 20 somethings that say it.

So who cares that I'm 42 and many Americans have eyes that change around this age. It's something about the muscle used to focus. Paghhhh. What do these silly doctors know, anyway?

What a wonderful world.

I just read a few of my past blogs, the one about getting my one year letter to puppy on the blog(hasn't happened btw) and I wrote about puppies 6 teeth, his babbling and getting stronger every day.

What changes have happened in the past 6 months! My boy has 12 teeth, Yup. I counted them. the front 8 then one molar each side & location top & bottom. He talks now, too. It's mostly babble but when he throws his hands out & up and gets that kind of confused look on his face, cocking his head to the side you would swear that you knew exactly what he was concerned about. He also says cool things like Mommy, Daddy, moon and dinosaur. Uh huh, dinosaur. And pidey, too. (that's spidey to ya'll out there). Puppy loves him some Spider man. And Elmo, too. Now what is it about the love at first sight for this boy? I tell you he fell hard for these two at first sight.

He climbs and reaches like a boy twice his age, I fear his figuring out how to turn a door knob, I know what I did when I could turn a door knob. You don't, do you, well I'll tell you.

When I was still in diapers I would awaken before everyone else in the household, get out of my crib, get down the stairs(13 of them, wood - no carpet on these stairs), out the door & around the neighborhood. The story went that my Mom would call around the neighbors. I'd stop at O's house first and get blueberry pancakes, then D's for candy & I'd eventually make it to L's, their cookies were in the bottom drawer in the kitchen. Luckily all the families knew each other, all the fathers worked at the same place (it was a factory village of sorts) so I was safe. I wasn't so safe the time at the beach when Mom woke up early to find me gone, freaked the he$$ out & sent the whole house looking for me. Someone walked out on the patio to see me down at the water's edge, in my bikini with my pail & shovel playing in the sand. I don't think I did it much after that, you can imagine why...

Sooo if puppy is even half as independent as I am then as soon as I stop nursing him, yes, another blog to come, he'll be grown and out the door, leaving me with my broken heart, stopping in every once in a while to keep me strung along, forever loving him and never, ever forgetting those first 13 months, when life was beautiful and grand and all the wonder of life and love and the future lay at my feet. Or more likely in my lap, nestled at my breast.

Sunday, September 12, 2010


I bought myself a 15x mini mirror to, you know, pluck my eyebrows & stuffs. You may ask, "E, why would you so far as to buy 15x instead of the standard 10x mirror?" To which I would have to go into a lengthy response about getting older, losing my eye site, blaming it in the little monster...this in & of itself deserves it's own blog...point noted, new blog to follow...

Where was I? Oh yeah, back to the drasted 15x mirror. Let me just tell you that no one, & I mean NO ONE, needs a 15x mirror. There are things we just don't need to see that close up. You really, really don't want to see your skin that close up. Believe me, I've seen it & it's NOT pretty. It looks almost gelatinous that close, the wrinkles, yea, I said it, the wrinkles, have these divies that look like canyons. Canyons in this pinky, gelatinous, squishy looking goop. You can almost see right into your hair follicles. One word for that. Gross! You even almost acquire a deep view into your skin depending on the lighting, just think about that for a while...

See, I thought because of the changes in my eye site, to be blogged about later, that the 15x would eliminate the need to wear my glasses when I pull the tiny hairs out of my uni brow. The glasses are a pain in the a%%, let me tell you. I have to angle the tweezers around the frames & they just make an already difficult job about 150 times more difficult. My eyes still go wacky looking into this God awful mirror, I still need to hold it "right there, no, don't shake, hands, I've got it, damn. Start over."

What the H E double hockey sticks was I thinking? Why didn't I foresee the dangers, why didn't I try the damnable thing out before I bought it?

T, if you're reading this between bouts with cheeks, beware, warn you friends & lovers. Don't make the same mistake that I did!